Dear Mall Rat,
Just a friendly note to inform you that you appear to have forgotten to put pants on today. I see you are wearing leggings that have a denim-like appearance to them, they have some interesting mock stitching on them to give the illusion of actual denim but are falling very short of classifying as actual pants.

When you bent over to retrieve your $3.80 in change from the floor in front of Donut King, the dismal quality of your chosen garment revealed that you had also failed to make a sensible underwear choice and went for the Orange polka dotted knicker.

If they arent actual denim (i.e with a fly and beltloops and pockets), are made of a sub-standard polyester, become see through when stretched beyond their capacity and reveal a camel toe then my friend you need to know that TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!!  GO HOME AND CHANGE!